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NFL Flag: Ensuring Girls Have Access to Flag Football

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people at NFL Flag to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

Kids in jerseys and cleats. Grass that is still wet with morning dew. Coaches huddled around players. Moms and dads, relatives, siblings, neighbors, all watching from the sidelines. Cheers echo throughout the field. This can only mean one thing: NFL Flag Football season is here.

Is your family a flag football family? There’s just something about the sport that really brings everyone together. Different backgrounds, different skill levels, different ages, yet one thing in common–a love of the game. And whether it’s a four-year-old or a fourteen-year-old, a girl or a boy, a seasoned player or a newbie . . . there’s something in flag football for every single person.

If you’re not already familiar with NFL Flag, they’re the official Flag Football partner of the NFL.

They’re in all 50 states and yep, they include the Detroit Lions on their roster. Talk about local love! And aside from being the largest flag football league in the country, they also work really, really hard to ensure that the game of flag football is accessible to all.

When kids play within the NFL Flag Football program, they learn more than just football. They also learn about teamwork, sportsmanship, dedication, and friendship; the learning takes place both on and off the field. You can trust that your kids will be learning skills they’ll carry with them for a lifetime.

Flag football is quickly becoming one of the fastest growing youth sports in the US. So many more kids are learning the fundamentals and finding a love for the sport. But it doesn’t stop there.

NFL Flag is working hard to ensure that girls have access to the game, too.

They recognize how beneficial it is to have more girls playing the sport. Within NFL Flag you’ll find girls-only leagues and tournaments. They’re also working with RCX Sports and the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics to make flag football a sanctioned college sport for women. So even if your daughter has aged out of the program through NFL Flag (it’s for ages 4-14), she doesn’t have to lose her passion for the sport!

In a world where we tell our girls that they can do anything they put their mind to, that includes playing football. It can start when they’re young, watching their older siblings play and wanting to be part of the action. You can encourage a love for flag football in all of your children by bringing them to community games, purchasing gear, and teaching them the basics (and then once they’re four years old, get them signed up!).

But don’t just take our word for it.

Everywhere you look, you’ll find examples of girls in flag football who are truly developing a love for the game. They’re also learning more about self-confidence, responsibility, and how to follow their hearts. In a society where people often feel judged for their choices, it’s truly amazing to see these girls playing flag football because they want to, and not worrying about what anyone else might think.

The Coaches

NFL Flag interviewed two female coaches and asked them how they felt about girls playing flag football. They see it as a great indicator of where the future is heading. The equal opportunity is so great, because it wasn’t something they both had when they were younger. Since the game of flag football is growing, it means there’s more sponsors for teams, and more opportunities. And, having flag football become an Olympic sport gives girls something to strive for and work towards. Because yes, did you know that flag football is going to be an Olympic sport in 2028 in LA?!

Another coach emphasized the importance of girls in flag football and how now, girls are being recognized as the exceptional athletes that they are. It’s no longer just the boys being recognized. The girls are putting in as much hard work, effort, and dedication as the boys do. And it’s time that people are noticing!

The Parents

One parent who was interviewed brought up the fact that watching older siblings play flag football can lead to little sisters wanting to play as well. And when they’re on that team, it’s a true sisterhood bond that is developed on that competitive stage. They want to win–together.

The Players

NFL Flag interviewed Lainey, a player, and asked her about playing flag football. She said that being on the team really makes her feel like she’s a part of something, and that she’s doing something for other people. The girls she plays on the team with, she refers to as her sisters–her family. She said playing on the team gives her hope and makes her want to strive to be in the Olympics.

Seasons come and go, but one thing remains the same: a love of the game. NFL Flag is working hard to ensure girls have equal access to the sport of flag football and they’re setting female athletes up for success both on and off the field. It’s such an amazing opportunity and a chance to learn life lessons both on and off the field. We can’t wait to watch flag football in the Olympics in 2028!

Early bird registration for NFL Flag’s FALL season is now open. For more information, please visit their website. You can get a $20 early bird discount using code 113645!

The Best Mother’s Day Brunch In + Around Detroit

It’s almost time to celebrate the moms in our lives and what better way is there than having a wonderful Mother’s Day brunch? If you’re celebrating a special mom, mother-in-law, grandmother, or just want to drop some not-so-subtle hints about your brunch preferences, here’s a great list of locally-owned restaurants making mom feel special on Mother’s Day. We’ve found twelve great options for both dine-in and carryout that will surely make mom feel special.

15th Street Tavern | Clarkston

15th Street Tavern has a Sunday brunch that will be perfect for Mother’s Day. Brunch runs from 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Andiamo | Five Locations In + Around Detroit

All five of Andiamo’s locations are offering brunch starting at 10:00 a.m. on Mother’s Day (the Detroit location begins at 11:00 a.m.). Reservations are now open and strongly recommended. They are also offering a plated dinner too, at all locations, in case brunch isn’t your style but you’d love to head out for dinner! Cost is $54.95 for adults, $22 for ages 5-10, and children 4 and under dine free!

Blake’s Cider Mill | Almont + Armada

Blake’s is offering a family-friendly atmosphere with an absolutely delicious menu! Brunch will be offered at Blake’s Backyard in Almont and Blake’s Tasting Room in Armada from 9:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. and they are now taking reservations. Cost varies depending on location. The menus look amazing!

Darrel’s Steak + Seafood | Lake Orion

Their Mother’s Day specials will start at 12:00 p.m., so it’s perfect for brunch, lunch, OR dinner! Be sure to call ahead to make your reservation.

Diamonds | Howell

The Mother’s Day Buffet at Diamonds will run all day, from 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. (brunch is from 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m., and dinner starts at 3:45 p.m.). You can make your reservation right on their website. Cost is $42.95 for adult brunch, $17.95 for kids ages 3-17; $46.95 for adult dinner, $19.95 for kids ages 3-17.

Folk | Detroit

Folk has you covered for brunch this Mother’s Day with a tasty menu set up for both Saturday, May 11th and Sunday, May 12th. Plan to spend 90 minutes enjoying your time and dining on entrees, sharables, and boozy drinks. When you make your reservation online, you can include a gift, like fresh flowers or a candle. Treat yourself, you deserve it!

Grey Ghost | Detroit

Dine-in for brunch (or dinner!) at Grey Ghost. You’ll want to make a reservation before you go, and you can do that easily right on their website! Brunch will take place starting at 10:00 a.m. and will cost you $65 per person.

Joe Muer Seafood | Detroit

There will be a plated dinner service all day, from 12:00-8:00 p.m. Be sure to reserve your spot by calling ahead!

Joe’s Produce | Livonia

Joe’s has all sorts of carry-out options available for Mother’s Day, you’ll just need to pick them up on Saturday, May 11th. That way, you can spend all day on Sunday at home with your loved ones! Choose from charcuterie or caprese trays, breakfast pastries, fresh fruit, and entrees.

The Laundry | Fenton

Dine-in at The Laundry this Mother’s Day from 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. and enjoy an assorted buffet menu sure to please every member of your family. The fresh fruit crumble for dessert sounds so good! Cost is $42 for adults, $21 for kids ages 11 and under.

Roberts Restaurant Group | Various Locations

With four delicious restaurants to choose from, the hardest decision will simply be deciding where to eat! Hours vary depending on location. Indoor and patio dining are available, as well as curbside carryout.

Stage Deli | West Bloomfield

Stage Deli is offering Mother’s Day meals as a carry-out option, and they generously feed six! You’ll want to order by May 10th and plan to pick-up on May 12th. Cost is $175.00 for the tasty meal, and you’ll need to place the order online. Brunch in your pajamas at home! What could be better than that?

Looking for the perfect Mother’s Day gift? Check out our Detroit Mom-Approved Mother’s Day Gift Guide!

This post was originally written by Katie Purcell and was updated in 2024 by Dana Abraham.

Detroit Mom Connect | Being Authentically Yourself Attendees

We are so excited to get together for our next Detroit Mom Connect event! Below you will find some of the incredible women who will be attending the event so you can get to know them a little before we get together!

 

The above photos do not belong to Detroit Mom but to the individuals listed above.

When Therapy Isn’t Enough: My Story of Hospitalization for Postpartum Depression

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal journey with Postpartum Depression. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your mental health.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains depictions of suicidal thoughts.

I shifted the car into park and dropped my head onto the steering wheel. “This cannot be my life,” I thought. I was in the parking lot of a mental health hospital, about to voluntarily check myself in for treatment. 

I was experiencing severe Postpartum Depression. At my lowest point, I was in the middle of raising three beautiful children. And I asked my therapist how bad it had to get for me to be hospitalized. My symptoms had become unbearable, and I was desperate to find a way to feel better. I realized I needed more than my medication and twice-weekly appointments with her could provide.

She compassionately referred me to a specialized Mother-Baby support program. And, she assured me that she would coordinate care with them and support me when I came back home. After securing childcare for a whole week and driving across the state to Grand Rapids, there I was. I was ready to admit how much I was struggling. I felt simultaneously apprehensive and comforted.

The Statistics on Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders

According to the National Library of Medicine, up to 1 in 5 mothers will experience a Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorder (PMAD) during pregnancy or postpartum. Although often referred to simply as “Postpartum Depression,” they are actually a spectrum of disorders that include depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, and psychosis, and they can occur both during and after pregnancy, as shared by Postpartum Support International.

According to the American Medical Association’s JAMA Network, mental illness is the top cause of maternal mortality in the US. However, more than 70% of cases go undiagnosed or untreated due to stigma, lack of awareness, and scarcity of specialized treatment options, according to Postpartum Support International. Let that sink in for a moment. Less than 30% of mothers receive the mental health treatment they need during the perinatal period.

A Decision to Take Care of Me

Thankfully, I was able to receive the treatment I needed for Postpartum Depression.

I asked my therapist about hospitalization because my symptoms were making the everyday functions of life feel like impossible hurdles. Getting out of bed, showering, and feeding myself felt as though they were just too much trouble to go through. Making my kids’ meals, picking the older ones up at the bus stop on time, or helping with their homework felt beyond impossible to accomplish. I was battling constant negative thoughts, including some scary ones that tried to persuade me my children would be better off without me. 

For a long while, I convinced myself that as long as there were decent days mixed in with the bad ones, everything was fine. When I struggled, my excuse to my kids was, “Mommy’s just having a bad day.” Well one day, when my six-year-old daughter replied with concern in her eyes, “But you were having a bad day the other day too,” my heart absolutely shattered. I knew that I would never be able to care for my children in the way that they deserved if I did not first do something to heal myself. And in my case, that meant leaving them for a week and checking into a hospital.

The Program That Saved My Life

The specialized nature of the Mother-Baby program at Pine Rest means it’s not what you might picture when you imagine a mental health hospital (someone once asked if it’s like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and let me assure you, it’s not). There are quilts on the wall. And, a sticky note affirmation board written by previous program participants. If one speaks to you, you’re welcome to take it.

Participants wear regular comfortable clothes and one mom while I was there even brought her guitar to play between sessions. The program consists of group and individual therapy, medication management, psychoeducation, and the use of complementary therapies (I participated in included aromatherapy, zen tangles, and guided meditation sessions while there).

A sign from Pine Rest that has become my mantra since attending.

I learned an incredible amount during that week. One of the most potent lessons was that self-care in motherhood doesn’t always look like yoga classes or locking yourself in the bathroom while you wolf down chocolate. Sometimes (and actually more often than not), it’s doing the hard things to make sure you are taken care of.

That might mean putting up with a screaming kid in a stroller while taking your afternoon walk in the sunlight. That might mean putting up with the whining that “we don’t want this for dinner” because you can’t cook multiple meals but it’s important that you get something healthy and nourishing to eat. It might mean putting your kid in front of a screen again so you have time to journal every day. 

I sincerely believe this program helped save my life. At the same time, I am cognizant of all my privileges that afforded me the ability to attend and the statistics demonstrating just how many moms do not access the appropriate level of care. It will require collective action for things to change, and I sincerely hope to be part of that change.

Maternal Mental Health Resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with a PMAD, let me be the one to tell you that things can get better. It won’t be like this forever. As discussed in this post, there are important benefits to receiving treatment. 

To find support, visit the Detroit Mom-Approved Guide to Therapists In and Around Detroit. Also, join Detroit Mom’s Mental Health Community Group or the Anxious Moms Support Group on Facebook. And, look out for information about regular free meetups.

**If you are in an immediate mental health crisis, please call 988 for the National Suicide + Crisis Lifeline.

Detroit Mom is passionate about speaking out about mental health and normalizing sharing our stories. We share our stories to help others feel deeply seen.

25 Teacher Appreciation Week Ideas

I think we can collectively agree that teaching is one of the most important jobs that one can have and is crucial to our children’s futures; yet, many teachers are overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated. Therefore, any chance I get to shout out, show love and kindness, or help in any way possible for my children’s teachers, I will be the first one there willing to help and shout their praises from the roof top.

This year Teacher Appreciation Week runs from May 6th-May 10th. Any teacher will tell you they don’t need or expect gifts, but I know for myself personally, if you are willing to care for and love my child as if they were your own, I am going to spoil you any chance I get!  Last year I chose three different simple gift items, added a cute tag, and my son had something special to bring to his teachers each day that week to show his appreciation–costing less than $20 total for a week of gifts.

Cute + Easy Teacher Appreciation Week Gifts

Here are 25 fun ideas for simple gift items, with free printable tags to include!

1. Bath Bombs: “Teacher, you’re the bomb!”

Tie this cute tag to a bath bomb wrapped up in cellophane and your teacher will be dreaming of a nice relaxing bath after school.

2. Bundt Cakes: “There’s no ifs, ands, or bundts about it…you are amazing!”

Nothing says you have an amazing teacher like handing them a scrumptious bundt cake to enjoy on their lunch break!

3. Cactus: “Needles to say, you’re a great teacher!”

Have a plant lover as your teacher? Send in something a little different than the normal flowers this year!

4. Chick-Fil-A: “Thank you for teaching our little nugget.”

We know those school nights can be crazy busy. The same goes for teachers! Grab a gift card, attach the tag, and your teacher will have a go-to meal on those busy nights.

5. Chocolate: “Thanks a choco-lot for all that you do!”

Godiva, Hersey’s, Lindt . . . what is your chocolate of choice? I mean, can you really go wrong with any of them?!

6. Cookies“Chip, Chip, Hooray!”

Swing by your favorite local cookie shop and grab a delicious fresh cookie to make your teacher’s day.

7. Donuts: “Donut what I would do without you.”

Get your teacher’s morning started off right with some donuts from a local donut shop. And even better, grab a coffee to go with it!

8. Flair Pens: “There’s no denying that you’ve got a flair for teaching!”

Who doesn’t love a fresh new pack of flair pens? Grab a fun new pack and they will for sure be loved!

9. Flowers: “I bloom because of you.”

The tried and true; flowers are sure to make your teacher’s day a bit brighter.

10. Honey: “I love to bee in your class.”

Get some fresh made honey from a local supplier (my favorite being Honey Help!), for a creative gift just as sweet as they are.

11. Ice Cream: “Here’s the scoop: you’re the sweetest.”

Either get a gift card to your favorite local ice cream shop or create an ice cream sundae basket. Either way, you will surely having them screaming for ICE CREAM!

12. Latte: “Thanks a latte for all you do.”

Get their day started with a pick-me-up and a little coffee love!

13. Lip Balm: “You’re the balm.”

After a day of talking and teaching little ones, I’m sure a gift of a nice lip balm would be greatly appreciated!

14. M&Ms: “Thank you for being such a magnificent & marvelous teacher.”

An easy gift! Grab your favorite variety, tape on the tag, and you are ready to go!

15. Manicure: “Mani thanks for all you do.”

Send your teacher for a little self care with a gift card to a local nail salon.

16. Markers: “What you do every day is reMARKable!”

We all know teachers go through white board markers quickly. So grab a fun color pack to brighten up their old markers!

17. Muffins: “Muffin to do but appreciate you.”

Swing by a local bakery on your way to school for a freshly baked muffin!

18. Pens: “Thanks for being dePENdable.”

There’s nothing like using a fresh pen when it glides on the paper nicely. Grab a new pack of fun pens for your child’s teacher!

19. Popcorn: “Just ‘poppin’ by to say thanks for a great year!”

A healthier snack alternative to help fill up their bellies throughout the day!

20. Reese’s Pieces: “I am thrilled to pieces to have you as my teacher.”

Who doesn’t love this chocolatey peanut buttery treat?!

21. Sharpies: “You’re one sharp teacher.”

With all the different Sharpie varieties, build up your teacher’s collection with this Teacher Appreciation Week gift!

22. S’mores: “We appreciate you s’more than you know!”

Get all the supplies needed for a good bonfire treat!

23. Soda: “I’m SODA-lighted you are my teacher this year.”

For the teachers whose go-to caffeine of choice is soda, grab their favorite type, pop on the tag, and make their day!

24. Summer: “Thank you for helping me shine.”

Pick up a cute towel, some fun sunglasses, and a nice-smelling sun screen to help get your teacher ready for summer!

25. Tacos: “Taco ’bout an awesome teacher!”

Grab a gift card to your favorite local Mexican restaurant or pick up all the fixings to have their own taco night at home!

Looking for Teacher Appreciation Week ideas for every day of the week? Rana shares a whole week’s worth of gift ideas!

Speaking Up For Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Trigger warning: This post contains descriptions of child molestation. 

I was about seven years old when my family was leaving for a vacation. We lived in the city and had hired a cab to drop us off at the bus station. I vividly remember fighting with my younger brother to sit in the front window seat of the cab but losing the battle, which ended up with me sitting next to an elderly cab driver. I grudgingly sat in the old cab, which did not have bucket seats.

The cab driver was talkative and welcomed me to sit next to him. Little did I know, he had other ideas and wanted to touch and feel me inappropriately. When the ride began, it started with pressing my chest gently and then doing it harder and then moving down to my thighs. I was shocked and didn’t know how to react.

I was screaming internally for help and tried to look at my parents in the backseat but couldn’t convey my agony. Did I have the courage to tell my parents? No, because I didn’t know how they would react. Will they get mad at me? Will they scold the driver? Will they cancel our trip?

I was scared and started crying but the cab driver didn’t stop. The ride finally ended, and I jumped out–with my childhood innocence left behind. 

Nothing changed for others but in one ride, I became aware of my body and the ugliness of the world.

At the age when girls look up to elders for guidance, my vision had blurred. I realized that protecting my body needed to be my number one priority from that day on. Nobody talked about it before or taught me this, but I learned it the hard way. Up until now, it still bothers me . . . why wasn’t I educated about this from an earlier age? Why didn’t my mother give me some idea that something like this could happen? 

It’s been 30 years now, but these memories stay with me even though the years have passed. The trauma, the feelings, the emotions, the helplessness . . . it doesn’t go away with time but subsides in a little corner of your heart. It surfaces when you empathize with someone going through similar emotions or when you want to protect your loved ones. 

So the next time your child seems uncomfortable hugging or kissing someone–even if it is a family member–I would encourage you to let them be.

Take this as a sign to talk to them about their body, their private parts, their safety, inappropriate touching, and what they should do if they find themselves in such situations. The biggest thing as a parent is to educate, listen to, and support your child.

Personally, when my child was about four years old, I started educating him about the exact names of the private body parts. I told him why someone touching them is inappropriate and that if anyone tries to do that, he doesn’t need to be submissive but to create a ruckus. Inform another adult or teacher, scream, shout, run, but to not be a victim as his mother was. 

Another thing that I reiterate is the policy of “no secrets.”

We give him space to tell us everything and if anyone tells him to keep a secret and to not tell the parents, that is not allowed. As he is growing, he will understand that not everybody has the best intentions. Nonetheless, as a parent I feel the responsibility to arm him up with knowledge that he will have in case he faces such a situation in the future.    

With that said, I will not be the one to hug your little ones or give them a kiss or tickle them until it becomes a laughter riot without their permission. My own trauma stops me from that. That little girl in me doesn’t want anyone to go through those emotions and will not do anything to make them uncomfortable. 

April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Here are some resources:

It’s so important to use our voices to raise up those around us and spread awareness. Here’s another post with tangible action steps you can take to support others.

Navigating Infertility + Caring For Your Mental Health

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal advice for navigating infertility. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your mental health and/or infertility.

National Infertility Awareness Week is here. For those of us who are in (or have walked through) infertility, it is our banner week where we honor the strength and resiliency in you, as you navigate what can often feel like the fight of a lifetime. It is a time when what is often held in the quiet of our hearts and minds can bubble up and sharpen its voice and be heard. The worry you have felt, the loss, the fear, the sense of inadequacy . . . we can look around and collectively see how many are truly actually navigating this alongside of us. How we are truly not alone.

As a counselor, the most fulfilling part of my work has been walking alongside fertility warriors, whether running a support group or personal sessions, and being a very present support for them in the day-to-day nuances of their fertility efforts. I’m not sure what your support has looked like as you’ve walked through your fertility journey. Maybe you have felt the love and strength of your family and friends behind you fervently. Or maybe you have felt the isolation. You’ve seen friend after friend achieve a pregnancy, and they have slowly stopped asking for updates.

Maybe you have experienced the barrage of hallmark sentiments that diminish the reality of this experience, and it has quieted you from opening up and sharing your journey . . . you know, the, “Just relax and it will happen!”, or “Everything happens for a reason” moments that miss the mark of support, even when they are coming from our dearest loved ones.  

The people who feel most supportive are often not who we think they will be.

It can feel incredibly lonely. But I am here to remind you of something. Your village is out there, just continue to be brave enough to keep putting yourself out there until you have found them. It might not be your best friend who doesn’t have to think in terms of Cycle Days. Or has never carried a stim-shot on ice through an airport. It might be the co-worker who you never had too much in common with until you realized she was also late from her morning monitoring appointment. Or the strangers who become friends in your support group as you all approach a cycle together.  

There are wonderful, unexpected forms of support–many that will be with elevated visibility this week. Stay open & stay brave. Maybe it’s making the plunge to join that virtual support group, or check out some fertility-based guided meditations. Connecting with your local Resolve organization and participating in their awareness and advocacy events. Signing up for yoga class that is specific to those who are still in the “waiting.” It might be telling someone who loves you that things have actually been harder than you have let on. That you are treading so hard, but this process can feel so exhausting.

Your vulnerability is your superpower. And in the infertility community, we know that you don’t need false promises. Or sentiments of, “It will happen when you stop trying.” We know what it means to get in the hole together. To just let the feelings wash over us, knowing that just as they come, they will always go.

You see, we need each other so very much in this walk.

For hope, for connection, and for the ever-needed reminders that you have more strength inside of you than you ever thought humanly possible. When things start feeling tough, I want you to remember a few thoughts.

First, there are so many “lanes” ahead of you.

I use this analogy often, because I think the idea of a highway with lanes really resonates with us in the fertility world. We’re all heading in the same direction. We all hope we can get off at the exit ramp as soon as possible . . . we just have to figure out which lane is going to get us there. Whether a medicated cycle, IUI and all of it’s variations, IVF, Donor egg, Donor specimen, Adoption, Embryo Donation, gestational carrier or surrogacy options . . . knowing that you are not stuck in one lane, and that at any point, you can put your blinker on and move into another lane of treatment, can feel empowering. And if you need more time to feel if something is right for you, it’s okay to keep that blinker on a little longer and talk it through. Hearing others’ experiences can expand our education, widen our viewpoint, and give us hope.  

Another important thought: You often get to decide when to pivot, when to go around a perceived stop sign, when to get off the highway.

Yes, there may be some orbiting factors that may impact your Plan A. But with all of these lanes in front of you, it also means that you still hold the wheel in many respects. As your heart opens up to all of your options and possibilities, resonate that in a process that can feel very out of our control, you still have some choices. Something I often told myself in my fertility journey that kept me afloat was, “We don’t stop until I say so.” A bold thought, I know, but a reminder that until I had my baby in my arms, I was strong enough to keep going. Even if it meant switching lanes, even if it was different from what I expected. I just had to figure out which key was going to open the lock. 

Don’t forget to trust yourself.

It’s easy to forget you have a 10/10 record for handling the tough news, the tricky diagnosis, the heart ache . . . Your record is pristine, no matter how raw and fragile you have felt throughout this. Hold on to that. There is nothing ahead of you that we won’t be able to handle, or make a “What’s next?” decision about. You can hold hope and plow through the scary “what-ifs.” Because you are fierce, and strong, and have more than enough fight in you. You can do this. You can do this!

So during this week, take an inventory of your fellow warriors alongside you. We are here, and we are up for the fight. We hold each other up until we get to where we are going, we cry with one another, we celebrate the wins, and we remind one another of the incredible strength and resiliency that you have. Find your support, and share your story, and remember there is nothing ahead of you that you can’t handle. Never lose hope.

-Guest post submitted by Claire Hogan, MA, LPC

The 3 Parts of the Fertility Workup

Infertility is a very stressful time in a couple’s life. Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin, how to figure out where the problem lies, and which treatment options could be available. The good news is that a fertility workup does not take long and can provide valuable information to identify reasons for the struggle and appropriate treatment options to help make your family dreams come true.

Infertility is very common, affecting one in six couples. When a workup is performed, there are three parts of a triangle to evaluate a couple’s potential for getting pregnant. We will go through these three categories here.

The first is a hormonal evaluation that is done shortly after a woman’s menstrual cycle starts.

These hormones will look at everything that could affect the quality of ovulation, including female hormones, male hormones, thyroid, prolactin, sugar, and insulin. And, specifically, the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH)–which gives us an idea of how young the ovaries are. That level should be less than 10. Greater than 10 states that the ovaries are starting to get older, and this will impact the decision-making and timing of different fertility treatments.

Anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) gives an idea of “how many eggs we have left.” That AMH number should be greater than one. Less than one states that there are less eggs to work with.

These two values in combination with an ultrasound, looking at your ovaries to measure an antral follicle count (the number of little cysts in the ovaries that hopefully could give us an egg) together will give a woman her fertility potential. With consideration of your age and BMI, this fertility potential will then guide fertility specialists to recommend certain medication or treatment plans based on what we call ovarian reserve.

Secondly, we look at the structure.

Structure is very important because you need a normal uterine cavity as well as the tubes to be open. There are two tests we use to assess structure.

The first is an HSG, this is done in the hospital in the radiology department. The HSG procedure requires injecting radioactive dye into the uterus to assess the uterine cavity and tubes. The second is a sonohysterogram, which is done in the office. With a sonohysterogram, normal saline is used. The HSG is a better test to assess the tubes. The sonohysterogram is a better test for the uterus.

These tests should be done between cycle day 6 through 12 of your cycle so that you’re not bleeding to increase risk of infection, but also before you ovulate. If there is something in the cavity like polyps or fibroids, they can decrease your chance of success of pregnancy by up to 50%. Dilated tubes will decrease the chance of success by 50%.

If we see a problem in the uterus, many times that can be surgically corrected. IVF would most likely be required if the tubes are blocked. And, if tubes are dilated, there is an increased risk of ectopic and this can decrease success by 50% because fluid could go back into the uterus and be toxic to an embryo. Many times, if you have a dilated tube (it’s called a hydrosalpinx), we recommend removing that before proceeding with further treatment.

And lastly, we look at male factor.

30% to 50% of the time, there is a concern with the partner’s sperm count, and sperm parameters. Therefore, while his partner is getting the hormone and the structural workup, he should be getting a semen analysis. This is done by masturbation at home, abstaining from sex or masturbation for 2 to 7 days, and getting the sample to the office within an hour and kept warm. With a semen analysis, the sperm count, motility, shape, and volume, as well as any suggestion of infection, are evaluated and interpreted to determine his fertility potential.

These three parts of the triangle can be accomplished within the first two weeks of a woman’s menstrual cycle. The couple can then plan to start a fertility game plan.

A Message from Dr. K During National Infertility Awareness Week

To those struggling . . .

Don’t give up hope, there are SO many treatment plans available for success. Do not feel alone. We are with you on this fertility journey. You got this! WE got this! Take care of you and your partner. Take the time to love yourself and each other.

With love,
Dr. Kowalczyk

Detroit Mom Infertility Resource Guide

infertility resource

Being deemed “infertile” is overwhelming and devastating. Beyond the “Why me?”, you’re often left questioning whether you’re doing enough or what you’re not doing that you should be; wondering what the missing link could be that would just get you pregnant (and keep you pregnant). 

Jesse and I have both been there. As infertility warriors and advocates ourselves, we want you to know you’re not alone. 

Whether you’re just starting on your infertility journey and looking for guidance OR you’ve been weathering this storm for a while and are feeling stuck, Jesse and I put this infertility resource guide together in hopes it will give you a wide range of options to help you feel seen and supported. 

We asked the members of our infertility and loss community for their favorites in all things infertility in the Metro Detroit area and have crowdsourced their answers. 

Below is a compilation of doctors, practitioners, specialists, organizations, mental health professionals, books, podcasts, and social media accounts (and more!) that come recommended from our own personal experiences, our group members’ experiences, and/or insiders in the local infertility world. We believe these are some of the best of the best and hope these options serve your physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being as you navigate this tricky path.

Most importantly, we want you to know you are not alone. And you most certainly are not broken. We hope the people, places, and things below can help remind you of that.

Sending big hugs,

Steffanie Marshall + Jesse Sutherland 

photo by Rachelle Welling Photography

INFERTILITY CLINICS IN METRO DETROIT

ADDITIONAL SPECIALISTS 

SUPPORT ORGANIZATIONS

SUPPORT GROUPS

MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS SPECIALIZING IN INFERTILITY

ACUPUNCTURE

CHIROPRACTIC CARE

INFERTILITY DOULAS + COACHES

HEALTH, WELLNESS, + NUTRITION 

OTHER PRACTITIONERS 

BOOKS

EMOTION-WISE:

MEDICAL-/BODY-WISE:

PODCASTS

SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

BLOGGERS

We hope this is a well-rounded list that helps you feel like you have options to explore. What we DO NOT want you to think is that you need to be doing more than what you’re likely already doing. There are plenty of people “out in the wild” who we’re sure have already made you feel that way. This journey is full of twists and turns and roadblocks. So, if anything, we want you to feel like you have a roadmap full of alternative routes or additional pit-stops, where needed. 

At the very least, we hope you’ll join us in our Infertility & Loss Support Group and know you have a whole community of people who are willing and wanting to lift you up and walk alongside you. 

Sending love and light to each and every one of you.

Steffanie + Jesse 

Learn more about the women who proudly run the Detroit Mom Infertility + Loss Support Group.

Detroit Mom is an Amazon affiliate and may earn a small fee for qualifying items.

8 Ways to Support a Loved One Navigating Infertility

Trying for a baby can be such a fun and exciting time in our lives, but for so many, it has instead become one of the toughest. According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 6 people of reproductive age are impacted by infertility globally. And according to Piedmont Healthcare, approximately one-third of infertility is attributed to the male partner, one-third to the female partner, and one-third is caused by either a combination of problems in both partners or is unexplained.

It can be a challenging journey, not just for those who are experiencing it but also for their loved ones. The emotional roller coaster, endless appointments, financial stress, and uncertainty can take a toll on both physical and emotional well-being. If you have a loved one navigating infertility, it can be hard to know what to say or do to help.

Here are some of the top ways you can offer compassionate support during the challenging infertility journey.

8 Ways to Support a Loved One Navigating Infertility

Be mindful of your words; stay away from giving advice.

Words have immense power, especially when someone is struggling with infertility. Something that may have worked for you, may not work for them. Avoid making insensitive comments or offering unsolicited advice. Phrases like, “Stop stressing and it will happen,” or, “Just relax and have some drinks, that’s what I did,” may come from a well-meaning place, but can be hurtful. Instead, offer words of support, such as, “I’m here for you”.

Check in with them.

Some may think it may be bothersome or annoying to keep checking in with their loved one who is navigating infertility, but oftentimes it’s not! The best way to know whether they would like to be checked in with or not is to just ask. I know personally I really loved when my friends remembered important days like my ultrasounds, appointments, or transfer days. It can help them feel less alone and can help ease their nerves. Of course, always check with them first to make sure it’s okay that you check in with them.

Educate yourself.

Another way to offer support during an infertility journey is to take the initiative to educate yourself about infertility and the various challenges associated with it. This is especially important if they are going through treatment. Try not to drill them with a million questions that can be found on google. Understand the different treatment options, medical procedures, and emotional impact. This will not only help you offer more informed support, but will also show your loved one that you’re invested in understanding their experience.

Offer hope + encouragement.

While navigating infertility can feel overwhelming, offering hope and encouragement can provide much-needed comfort. Remind your loved one that they’re not alone in this journey and that there are support networks and resources available to them. Encourage them to stay positive and resilient, focusing on the possibilities that lie ahead.

Offer practical support.

Believe it or not, there is actually one key phrase that can be absolutely life-changing for someone going through this: “How can I best support you as you go through this?” These could be the exact words someone needs to hear. Whether it’s taking some tasks off their hands as a co-worker at work, or helping with household chores as their partner, any small gesture helps. As a friend you could even offer to cook a meal, send a thoughtful text, or deliver a gift to make them smile and remember that they have your support.

Respect their privacy.

Infertility is a deeply personal journey, and not everyone may feel comfortable discussing it openly. Respect your loved one’s privacy and boundaries regarding sharing their experience. Avoid sharing their story or asking intrusive questions without their consent. Let them lead the conversation and share as much or as little as they’re comfortable with. Letting them know that you are there when they are ready to talk is another great option.

Take care with pregnancy announcements.

If you are a friend and become pregnant, text them instead of surprising them with the news to allow them time to process. Acknowledge their journey too, and understand that they may need some time to digest things before they get super excited. Know that she may not be ready to attend things like baby showers and gender reveals, so try to be understanding about these too. If you see that one of her friends has recently announced their pregnancy, don’t be afraid to check in with her and just let her know you are here to talk/vent if she wants to. 

Take time to learn about their experience.

Empathy is key when offering support during an infertility journey. Take the time to understand what they are going through. Make sure to acknowledge the emotional ups and downs they may be facing. Listen without judgment and validate their feelings, even if you may not fully comprehend what they’re going through.

Resources for Support During an Infertility Journey

Facebook groups

Search for infertility support groups on Facebook. Once you join, check out the vibe and know that it’s okay if you don’t resonate with that specific one. There are tons out there, keep trying and don’t give up! 

Friends in real life and on social media

Believe it or not, some of the people that helped me the most were ones that I barely knew from social media. Some of us may not have friends in-person that have gone through this, but on social media it may be easier to connect. 

Chosen Infertility + Lauren Clements

Lauren is a good friend of mine who founded this incredible non-profit for infertility right here in Michigan. Chosen Infertility Group helps individuals and families make their way through their own infertility journey. Whether they are helping with resources or financially, it is their mission to help bring awareness to the infertility journey. This year they are offering nine grants to help couples cover the cost of fertility treatment including IVF, IUI, Surrogacy, Therapy, and Acupuncture. 

If you are looking for assistance with how to navigate infertility, please e-mail Lauren at [email protected] or Samantha at [email protected].

Infertility Clinic Recommendations

Acupuncture Recommendations

Clinical Therapists That Specialize In Infertility

For more information on infertility, visit https://resolve.org/.

-Guest post submitted by Samantha Dawson/samanthadawson_

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