What To Expect When Working With a Doula

May 19, 2024

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people from Live Light Birth & Family to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

Starting the journey into parenthood is like setting off on a thrilling adventure, full of unexpected twists and turns. The birthing process is no exception. At Live Light Birth & Family in Detroit, we truly believe that birth isn’t just about the end goal–but rather, a transformative experience where your autonomy and choices take the spotlight.

In the world of doulas, each practitioner brings their own unique personality and approach to the table. We totally get the importance of finding a doula you click with. This is why we offer complimentary consultations to make sure we’re the perfect fit for you and your family. But what exactly does a doula do?

Let’s break it down: a birth doula acts as a nonmedical member of your birthing team, providing emotional support, advocacy, education, and physical assistance throughout pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period.

Working Alongside Your Partner

Our role covers a whole range of supportive services. We can guide conversations with your healthcare provider and offer hands-on comfort measures during labor. We’re here to help navigate any unexpected turns during your birthing experience, whether you’re planning for a home birth, a birth center, or a hospital delivery. Research consistently shows the positive impact of doula support, including higher rates of satisfaction, reduced need for interventions, and lower likelihood of cesarean births.

Right from the start, we work closely with your partner to ensure they feel confident in communicating with medical professionals. Together, we’ll dive into your birth plan, clarifying your desires, preferences, and any concerns you may have. With this knowledge in hand, your partner will feel empowered to effectively communicate with medical providers, making sure your wishes are heard loud and clear.

Working Alongside Obstetricians + Midwives

As doulas with Live Light Birth & Family, we operate independently of the hospital or provider. We put the needs and desires of our clients above all else. While we champion your voice, we also give props to the invaluable contributions of obstetricians and midwives to your birthing experience. Obstetricians (OBs), being surgeons, bring top-notch medical expertise to the table. Midwives champion the natural rhythms of childbirth, bringing a whole lot of personalized care and emotional support to the mix.

We don’t usually deal directly with providers as doulas. Most of the time, we talk to OBs or midwives through our clients. Unless they specifically ask us to or they need extra support because they’re feeling unheard or their support person isn’t available, we don’t go to appointments with them. But if our client needs us there we’ll make it happen!

Working Alongside Medical Staff

As we step into the birthing environment, we work closely with nurses and build relationships with doctors and midwives. Some doctors might not know much about doulas. So, our goal is to show how we can work together as a team. We always prioritize our clients, and we want the medical staff to know we’re here to collaborate from the get-go. Standing as a witness in the birth space, we’re there to support our clients every step of the way.

Once we’re settled in the birthing location (usually a hospital for our clients), we keep encouraging our clients and their partners to talk directly to their provider. By focusing on our clients, we hope the provider and nurses will also respect and value our client’s birth goals. Sometimes, if needed, we jump in to chat with the provider, asking questions or clearing things up to better support our clients.

Working With the BRAIN Tool

Primarily, our role is to empower our clients to be strong, confident, and assertive advocates for their preferences. This confidence goes with them into their role as parents. One of the key parts of our prenatal services here at Live Light Birth & Family is the Prenatal Planning Meeting where we go over a tool called BRAIN. It helps clients ask questions that get them talking with their provider. Like:

B: What are the good things about this test, procedure, or medicine?
R: What are the risks for me, my baby, and my birth plan?
A: Are there other options? Can we get more info from other tests?
I: What does your gut say? What feels right?
N: Can we wait before deciding?

When clients start asking questions this way, providers see that they want to know all the details.

When decisions have to be made before going into labor, we help our clients figure out their next steps and discuss other choices they have. We want them to feel confident when they talk to their provider, by offering evidence-based resources.

The Triadic Support System

Our role as doulas is to create a supportive environment where your voice isn’t just heard but respected. We’re here to enhance the care provided by obstetricians and midwives, serving as unwavering advocates and nurturing companions every step of the way. We’re dedicated to ensuring your preferences are honored, whether it’s crafting a comprehensive birth plan or providing continuous support during labor and delivery.

We know that navigating the healthcare system can feel overwhelming, especially during such an emotionally charged time. That’s why we’re all about fostering collaboration among all members of your birthing team. This creates a triadic support system that puts your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being front and center.

Ultimately our goal is simple, yet profound: to create a nurturing environment where you feel empowered, supported, and deeply cared for every step of the way. Childbirth isn’t just a medical event—it’s a deeply personal and transformative experience, and we’re truly honored to be there to guide you through it with strength, resilience, and unwavering dedication.

For more information about Live Light Birth & Family’s doula services, click the “services” tab on their website!

Setting Boundaries: A Sure Way to Stay Sane as a Mom

Faten

May 18, 2024

I remember the first time I realized I needed to set boundaries. I was completely burned out, ready to give up, and looking everywhere for happiness except within myself. If this sounds like something you’re going through, then setting boundaries might be the missing piece to your peace of mind.

So, what exactly are boundaries?

Does it mean that you set up a wall between you and others in hopes of keeping them out? Not at all! Boundary setting actually helps guard our emotions without putting up walls. Boundaries are routines, habits, and limits that help protect our physical, mental, and spiritual health. They are essentially a part of us and include our beliefs, likes, dislikes, and preferences.

Boundary setting helps others understand what we will and will not put up with. However, this is not the same as telling people what to do. Internal boundaries are like promises that we make to ourselves. This is important to be able to set limits and priorities without getting burned out.

So, where do you start?

I used to think that setting boundaries was selfish, but it’s important to remember that boundary setting DOES NOT make you a selfish mom. It makes you a healthy mom!

Let’s talk about resentment for a second. Every mom has experienced that feeling of resentment. Where does it come from? It usually stems from being overworked, and under-appreciated. However, it is important to recognize that it is our responsibility to set limits and communicate those boundaries with others in order to help prevent burn out and resentment.

It’s important to be able to have limits in place prior to reaching your tipping point. If we are able to set limits on the things we will and will not do, then we can be a little more comfortable and a little less resentful.

Five areas in which to set internal boundaries that will help keep you a little happier and a little less resentful include:

Spending time alone
Technology
Saying no
Guilt
Self-compassion

Spending Time Alone

Most days as a mom include a child hanging onto your legs or screaming in your face. It’s no wonder we all lose our shit at times! It is crucial that moms spend some time alone to regroup and be able to keep going. This does not have to be a whole weekend or a whole day alone, though. I have found that stepping away in times of chaos, even for five minutes, has helped me regather my thoughts and respond more proportionately to situations.

In order to help you keep this boundary: choose a time where you will spend time alone and try to commit to it. Try to pick a time where you find yourself getting most triggered. For example, bedtime was a major trigger for me on most nights. It was a time when I was tired, and my kids were tired, so my tolerance at that time was at an all-time low.

But of course, this didn’t mean I could opt out of our bedtime routine. Instead, I had to set an internal boundary. The boundary that helped me was spending time alone before bedtime. Each night I made it part of my bedtime routine to go to my room early and read a book. By the time bedtime rolled around I was able to deal with the struggles of bedtime, because I had taken time for myself to replenish.

Each day that you abide by this boundary, your family will begin to recognize that it is a priority, and it will become incorporated into your routine. Remember: you are not only setting a boundary, but you are also modeling healthy habits that you want to pass on to your children.

Boundary example: “I will spend alone time in my room 20 minutes a day before bed time.”

Technology

Boundaries around technology are crucial in this day and age. Research from thehealthsite.com shows that mindless scrolling can have adverse effects on your mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and depression. On the other hand, social media helps connect us with others, and relate to one another (hence the reason you’re reading this post!). However, being able to set an internal boundary of when and how much technology you consume is empowering and helps you to be more productive.

In order to keep this boundary: try setting times in the day where you will have no technology, whether it is a couple hours before bed, in the morning, or throughout the day when your kids’ attention is at an all-time high. Turning off the notifications setting on your phone or putting your phone on silent or do not disturb are all options that will help you stick to your boundary. Being able to set time limits on the amount of technology you consume is also helpful (for example, only thirty minute segments).

In addition, finding alternatives to mindless scrolling can help replace your habit with a more positive one such as reading, journaling, or spending time with your partner. As with any other boundary, it is important to commit to this promise you have made to yourself.

Boundary example: “I will not use my phone after 9:00 p.m.”

Saying NO

NO is a valid answer! So many of us have grown up in environments where we were not able to say no without feeling guilty. An important part of boundary setting is prioritizing the things we can give our energy to, and eliminating things we cannot offer our energy to. Although saying no may be hard at first, like any other skill it gets easier with practice!

In order to keep this boundary: find your safe people and start saying NO! Contrary to what you believe will happen, those that matter will respect your decision and support you. After all, running yourself thin is not what anyone that loves you would want.

Some ways to say no and still be polite include:

“Thanks for including me, but I have another commitment.”
“I don’t have the mental capacity for this request.”
“Now is not a good time.”
“That’s not going to work for me.”
“Thank you for considering me, but I will have to pass.”

Boundary example: “I will say NO to events that take place on weekdays.”

Guilt

Yes, mom guilt is very real. Everything and anything can cause you to feel guilty, from taking time for yourself to not playing enough with your kids. If you find yourself constantly guilt tripping yourself, then it may help to set some boundaries around feeling guilty. Here’s my unpopular opinion: although mom guilt is real, most of the time it is unnecessary.

I promised myself that guilt would not be an emotion I overuse as a mom. Yes, mom guilt is very real. But allowing yourself to feel other emotions is also very real, like joy, contentment, inspiration, or awe.

In order to keep this boundary: when you find yourself overusing guilt, try asking yourself if there is another emotion you want to channel in. This is an internal boundary that you can use to help you regulate your emotions of guilt and build on other emotions that you wish to channel in.

Boundary example: “I will not feel guilty for partaking in a self-care activity once a week.”

Self-Compassion

Closely related to guilt is our self-criticism as moms. Mom guilt may stem from the high pressures of society and standards that society has set out for moms. We are expected to not only take care of our children, but at the same time be able to maintain a clean home, hold a job, cook, do the never-ending laundry, and the list goes on. Worst of all: we begin to feel inadequate if we cannot live up to these high standards. This is when we must forgive ourselves and have self-compassion.

In order to keep this boundary: we all make mistakes, including moms. Let’s learn to change our self-talk to include compassionate statements such as:

“It’s okay to make mistakes.”
“I will forgive myself.”
“My negative thoughts do not define me.”
“It’s okay to ask for help.”
“My feelings are valid.”
“I deserve compassion.”

This will help alleviate some of the strain of motherhood and validate your own self. The next time your inner voice sounds too critical, feel free to question that criticism and be compassionate with yourself.

Boundary example: “I will forgive myself for making mistakes.”

When you prioritize your own mental health and peace of mind, you begin to set boundaries that support your own well-being and vice versa. This is not an easy task when you are accustomed to people pleasing and putting others before yourself.

Boundary setting will help you become more comfortable and less resentful. Even committing to one or two boundaries from the list above will make a big difference on your overall emotional well-being! When you fill up your cup, you’re able to pour from a full cup and show up as a more present and authentic mom. I hope this list helps you get started on your own boundary setting journey!

Mental health is so important! If you’re looking for more mental health tips, Carm shares six ways to prioritize your mental health–for you, and your kids!

Detroit Mom’s Guide to the BEST Strollers + Wagons

danaabraham

May 15, 2024

For many of us, when you first learn you’re expecting a baby, your practical mind turns straight to gear. Babies need so much stuff, and as an expecting or new mom, you want to make sure you have the best tools in your toolbox–including the best strollers and wagons. After all, as any seasoned mom will tell you, the right tools can truly make or break your days of “mom-ing.”

I absolutely love talking about strollers and wagons. In today’s world, there are thousands of options to choose from. From single-to-double strollers to multi-seater wagons–all of which run the gamut of price points–it can feel absolutely overwhelming to know which one is right for your family.

Here at Detroit Mom, we’ve been in your shoes asking the questions while scanning the websites. How much is too much to spend? And what if I have another baby soon? Will this stroller be comfortable for them? These questions are real and our moms are here to help guide you. Without further ado, we present to you Detroit Mom’s favorite strollers and wagons. Happy shopping!

Detroit Mom’s Favorite Strollers

City Mini

“My favorite stroller was the City Mini! The brand has several options and double strollers as well. It’s lightweight, and easy to open and close! It also has a five point harness and reclines back for when they want to sleep and many accessories you can add for more convenience.” -Faten

GB Pockit Stroller

“The GB Pockit stroller was amazing for us while traveling!!! It folds down to a super small size to be able to easily pack and store it!” -Katie

“My favorite stroller hands down was the GB Pockit. I loved it for its compactness and ease of travel specifically. It’s able to be folded down completely–and once folded can fit inside of a backpack or diaper bag (hence the name “pockit”)! It actually even won a Guinness World Record for being the world’s most compact stroller!

“While I never carried it in my diaper bag, once folded I was EASILY able to fit in an overhead compartment on an airplane—or under the seat if all the overhead compartments were full. This was my favorite feature since I’ve never once had to check my stroller, which meant no broken stroller at my destination. Bonus: no squirming toddlers either since it’s thin enough to fit in the airplane aisles. Yup, I’ve even strolled my squirming toddler to her airplane seat before, and only unstrapped her there—much to the amazement of my fellow passengers!

“Eventually it became my daily stroller since it barely took up trunk space, saving me room for other things like groceries. The only suggestion I’ll make is if you have babies or young toddlers, purchase the one that reclines fully, as there are a couple versions.

“This stroller is beach sand-friendly (stroll it backwards), cruise hallway-friendly, Disney park-friendly, mall-friendly, baby-friendly, toddler-friendly, and I’ve gifted it to friends and family with new babies who all thank me later. Trust me, if you’re looking for a super compact travel and daily stroller, this is the only one you’ll ever need!” -Rana

Graco Infant Carseat + Jogging Stroller Travel System

“When our first was born a few years ago, we had bought the Graco infant carseat with jogging stroller travel system. I wanted a stroller with a good suspension because we like going on trails and camping. It used the Graco Click-Connect system which was a plus! When my first was a couple weeks old, I realized I didn’t need the jogging stroller for shorter walks in the neighborhood so I purchased a Graco stroller frame that the car seat could click into. This was a great decision and worked well for shopping in those early days too!” -Karli

Guava Family Roam

“Our “Adventure” stroller is the Guava Family Roam. I have not met a terrain this thing can’t handle. Snow, sand, mud, off-roading, you name it–it can do it. Plus, it folds up really well for a jogging stroller.” -Dana

Nuna DEMI next

“The Nuna DEMI next is our everyday/neighborhood walk stroller. It is a single-to-double and just so beautiful! It is well-made, which I love, and my toddler loves the rider board. Definitely on the pricey side but we will have this forever . . . like probably for our grandkids.” -Dana

Zoe Twin Double Stroller

“When I had three girls in three calendar years I knew I was in the market for a minimum of a double-stroller. While I was fortunate to have gotten my single infant/convertible from my baby shower, and it served me well, three under age five had me shopping for a double.

“The Zoe Twin double stroller is what we ended up purchasing, and let me tell you, it is worth every penny. It fits through standard size doors no problem, is lightweight, [is] extremely easy to open and fold, and comes with a warranty.

“When I accidentally broke the wheels on it (more than 12 months later), they were happy to ship me out a new set . . . no questions asked. It was the most user-friendly stroller I have come across and we did our research before we invested. Price-point may seem a bit high, but it was worth it. Hands down would purchase again.” -Molly

And, Detroit Mom’s Favorite Wagons

Baby Trend Expedition 2-in-1 Wagon

“We LOVE our Baby Trend Expedition 2-in-1 wagon! I feel like we had three other strollers before this, and then we have the original version of this wagon that sadly broke on our trip back from Florida, so we ended up getting the upgraded version that has the basket on the back for extra storage and rubber on the handlebar, and I have been so happy with it. My kids are now 4.5 and 3 and we still use it weekly.” -Lauren

Enenflo Pivot Wagon

“I love our Evenflo Pivot wagon! It is great for different types of terrain. I’ve used it on dirt trails and through the streets in our neighborhood with no problem. I have a 4.5 year old and almost 3 year old and it fits both kids no problem. I also love how the snack tray/drink holder is removable.” -Laura

Jeep Wagon

“We love our Jeep wagon! Still using it with our five & eight year old. Has held up well since pre-COVID and gotten a ton of miles.” -Amanda

MacSports Wagon

“Didn’t love any of the strollers we ever had! But we love our MacSports Wagon. It collapses easily to put in the trunk and holds at least two children or ALL the gear and chairs I bring to our kids’ outdoor sports events.” -Elizabeth

Veer Wagon

“When our second-born came along, we purchased a Veer wagon and still use it 3.5 years later! It had an attachment for an infant car seat, and is low enough to where a toddler can get in and out by themselves.

“Now my kids are 5 and 3.5, and we still use the Veer two-seater for the farmers market and trips like the zoo or Cedar Point. I like that it has attachments like an extra basket and canopies to block the sun, and it’s really sturdy. I like that it can be pushed or pulled easily, and it is easily cleaned with a hose and some soap. It’s a workhorse wagon, and we’ve used it to carry firewood, pumpkins, and extra nieces and nephews.

“One downside is that it is not easy to nap in. There is an insert you can purchase for naps, but I would just babywear whoever needed a nap. My kids would hardly nap outside of a quiet room anyways, so it wasn’t a big deal breaker for us. Now they make a four-seat wagon, but we have been happy with our two-seater with two kids.” -Karli

Wonderfold Wagons

“Wonderfold Wagons offer a significant discount to families of children with disabilities . . . 40%! Their wagons are large and have a capacity up to 350 lbs, which make them ideal if you have a larger child that needs a safe space.

“The wagon’s large enclosure acts as a sensory deprivation space for my Benny giving him his space to decompress, especially if we put the cover on it. For us, it’s wagon over stroller. We need room to bring all the things we could need, and Benny likes to move around. Additionally, with a wagon, my girls can jump in for a ride as well!” -Jamie

Whether you choose a stroller, a wagon, or both, we hope our real moms have helped narrow your search. It can be totally overwhelming to choose the right one for your fam, but know that whatever you choose, the way you push (or pull!) it with love will be what truly counts.

Can’t get enough of the coolest baby products? Same! Laura shares 8 baby products you absolutely must have!

Detroit Mom is an Amazon affiliate and may earn a small fee for qualifying items.

Taking Your Kids On a Cruise? Our Top 6 Tips

stacybrooks

May 14, 2024

I recently took my two daughters, ages five and seven, on a cruise by myself. It was amazing! We had a great time with minimal hiccups. I hope the memories we made don’t fade as fast as our tans. Since this was their first cruise and my first cruise in recent years, I did a lot of research on taking your kids on a cruise–and I learned a lot.

I am going to share my tips for anyone thinking about taking a cruise with kids.

1. Research!

Any time I take a trip, I do a lot of research. I am a planner by nature (former teacher here!) and I like to know what we are doing each day. Sometimes this drives my travel partners crazy, but I feel like it helps us maximize our vacation.

I researched several cruise lines, itineraries, excursions, modes of transportation to and from port, and everything in between. This allowed for us to have a seamless cruising experience with very little stress. I showed the kids lots of pictures of the ship and YouTube videos so they would get excited about our vacation.

2. Prepare your kids.

Things that are done on a cruise are very different from most vacation destinations. For example, I didn’t want my daughters to panic when they heard about the Muster Drill we had to do upon embarkation. I walked them through the whole thing before we even left for vacation. It can be scary and overwhelming for kids because it truly is organized chaos, and our cruise line handled it perfectly.

If you have a child who has sensory issues and is sensitive to loud noises, maybe pack noise canceling headphones because the sirens are loud!

3. Wear comfy shoes.

This seems like a no-brainer but I was shocked by how much walking we did on the ship. We walked about five to six miles a day! I also carried blister band aids for little toes that kept getting injured. I always carry band aids with me when I travel because I have an accident prone child, but blister band aids or moleskin bandages are great for trips when you are doing a lot of walking.

4. Don’t overpack.

Per usual, I overpacked for this trip. I really thought we would be changing clothes multiple times a day. This was not the case. One outfit during the day and a change of clothes for dinner and a lot of bathing suits. Check your sailing itinerary to see if there are any formal nights or theme nights during your sailing.

5. Don’t over-plan.

It is my nature to want to jam pack every minute of my vacation with activities. This is very easy to do with a cruise. There is something going on all the time and you could keep yourself really busy if you wanted to.

My advice is this: don’t feel compelled to jam pack every minute. Take time to enjoy the amenities that your ship has to offer. If you signed up for something and everyone seems tired, skip it. If your kiddos would rather hit the breakfast buffet than a sit down meal, go for it. The great thing about cruising is that it is a vacation that is truly designed by you.

6. Don’t forget about the passports.

If you are cruising to most Caribbean islands, a passport might not be necessary. But, it makes embarking and disembarking and going through customs much easier. Keep in mind that passports are costly and they take several weeks to receive so if your cruise is coming up, you might not have time to get a passport.

Children’s passports are only good for five years and adult passports are good for 10. If you think you will be traveling outside of the country in the near future, it might not be a bad idea to invest in one.

Sample Packing List For Your Cruise

Here are a few things you’ll want to make sure to pack for your cruise!

Portable charger: While you might not have cell reception at sea, your cruise line most likely uses an app to help you navigate your vacation
Sanitizer: Hand sanitizer, spray, and wipes are all essential to have on a cruise to ensure you don’t pick up something nasty like norovirus or other viruses that can run rampant on cruise ships.
First aid kit: Bring a small first aid kit with bandages, basic medication, and other necessities in case you or your family need it.
Motion sickness medication: Pills, patches, or wristbands are all great things to pack in case your family experiences motion sickness.
Cash/singles: Most of your cruise staff relies on gratuities from guests aboard ship, so make sure you pack some cash for your Head Server, Assistant Server, Maitre’D, and Room Attendant. Some cruise lines offer the ability to pre-pay gratuities but sometimes it is nice to be able to give them a little extra if their service was above and beyond. Also, singles are great to have if you enjoy ordering room service to tip your server. Typically a dollar or two per item is appropriate.

All in all we thoroughly enjoyed cruising. We can’t wait until our next adventure. For our next cruise, we are thinking Alaska!

Heading up north this summer? Prima-Marie shares the do’s and don’ts of Mackinac Island!

Detroit Mom-Approved Guide to Therapists In + Around Detroit

Detroit Mom

May 13, 2024

*last updated 5/8/2024

Mental health awareness is so important. Here at Detroit Mom, we want to support you however we can. So, we’ve put together a guide to therapists in and around Detroit, with the help of the readers in our community. These therapists are personally recommended by our readers, some of whom have also shared why they recommend seeing the specific provider. If you need support, and are looking for a therapist, please know that you aren’t alone. We are here for you, and so are the readers in our community.

In addition to our guide, we also have a Mental Health Community Group on Facebook that you can request to join. In the group, you’ll find local mothers who are walking similar paths as you. You’ll find support, encouragement, and maybe even a few new friends. On our main website, you’ll also find personal posts from some of our contributors about their journeys with mental health.

We hope this guide to therapists in and around Detroit will be beneficial to you. If you know of therapists that we can add to our list, please let us know. Bookmark this post; we will update it periodically. And of course, feel free to share with a friend who may be looking for support.

Guide to Metro Detroit Therapists

Ann Arbor DBT Center, PLLC | Ann Arbor + Online

Specializes in: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Recommended provider: Josephine Zolynsky, LLMSW

Our DM reader likes that they offer telehealth appointments. She also likes that they don’t have an issue if you want to ask the director for a therapist change.

Anne C. Di Iorio-Fitzpatrick, LLMSW | Online

Specializes in: depression, anxiety, school/work issues, and more

Our DM reader likes that Anne has a sliding fee scale, as this helps ensure that more people can access mental health resources.

Claire Hogan Counseling | Commerce Township + Warren

Specializes in: women’s wellbeing, grief, infertility, miscarriage and stillbirth, donor conception, perinatal and postpartum adjustment
Recommended provider: Claire Hogan, MA, LPC, NCC

Claire loves to support the full experience of women in a caring and accessible way.

Clear Innervision Counseling | Detroit + Online

Specializes in: individual, couples, and family counseling; depression, grief counseling, LGBTQ-related issues, stress management, and more
Recommended provider: Rhonda Miller

Our DM reader likes that she was able to be supported through her miscarraige and now her pregnancy.

Deeper Roots Wellness | Farmington Hills + Online

Specializes in: perinatal, infant, and early childhood mental health

Detroit Counseling Collective | Virtual + (Limited) In-Person

Specializes in: grief, trauma, EMDR, miscarriage, stillbirth, postpartum, adoption, and foster care
Recommended provider: Brooke Stone ([email protected])

Erin Berry Therapy | Ferndale

Specializes in: parenting support, postpartum, women’s issues, anxiety and depression, strengthening personal relationships, stress management, trauma, and spirituality/religion

Franki Bagdade Therapy | West Bloomfield + Online (in-person coming soon)

Specializes in: anxiety, ADHD, autism, parenting support, LGBTQIA allies, and Neurodiversity affirming; individual and group therapy for preschoolers, kids, teens, and adults

Great Lakes Psychology Group | Multiple Locations + Online

Specializes in: anxiety, grief, depression, PTSD, individual therapy, marriage, family, eating disorders, and more
Recommended providers: Heather Milewski (Roseville, online), Lindsay Voorheis (Livonia, online), Christina Tindal (online), Alexandra Lepsetz (Troy, online)

Our DM reader likes that when you call them, they can help match you with the perfect therapist for your specific situation.

Grosse Pointe Psychiatric Services | Grosse Pointe

Specializes in: Cognitive Therapy
Recommended provider: Melissa Altamore

Our DM reader likes that she has great options for resources, from books, to YouTube channels, to handouts. Our reader also likes that Melissa can provide a religious aspect to her therapy (if you’d like).

Happy Mama Counseling | Southfield + Online

Specializes in: Pregnancy, prenatal, postpartum, women’s issues, stress. They see new moms, experienced moms, and moms-to-be.
Recommended provider: Tina Gutman, LMSW

Healing Home Counseling Group | Bloomfield Hills + Online

Specializes in: Perinatal, Family, and Youth Therapy

Heart and Soul Therapy | Online

Specializes in: individual therapy, pregnancy + postpartum, and infertility + loss support
Recommended provider: Brandi Thomas

Insightful Therapy Services | Online

Specializes in: all things motherhood including pregnancy, postpartum, miscarriage/loss, and infertility, as well as other mental health therapists and women’s issues in general such as anxiety, depression, trauma, grief/loss, and eating/body image concerns
Recommended provider: Lauren Haas Kleinow, LMSW

Jordie Smith Counseling | Canton

Specializes in: marriage and family therapist
Recommended provider: Jordie Smith, MS, LMFT

Katherine Kezelian, LMSW | Online

Specializes in: mood, anxiety, and addiction; adolescents and young adults

Our DM reader shares that she is excellent!

Kendal Clinic | Bloomfield Hills + Online

Specializes in: individual psychotherapy (all ages), EMDR, art-based and sand tray-based therapy, parenting support, adult therapy, and more

Lesley Farrell | Ann Arbor

Specializes in: Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LMSW, EMDR, infertility, grief, anxiety

Our DM reader likes that Lesley surpasses all of her expectations for a therapist. Our reader shares that she’s gentle with her feelings, yet makes her assess and reflect appropriately. She also likes that Lesley is positively helping her work through her trauma and helping her grow. Our DM reader shares that Lesley is “just an incredible help and person.”

LifeStance Health | Brighton, Lansing, Highland, Fenton, and New Hudson

Our DM reader likes that they have a therapy dog. She also shares that they are caring and compassionate, and that the facilities are warm and welcoming. Our reader says that she doesn’t feel like she’s talking to a doctor, but rather, to a friend who truly cares about her well-being.

Lotus Psychology Group | Livonia

Specializes in: individual, family, and couples counseling; LGBTQ+ therapy; anxiety, depression, and trauma; multicultural therapy; therapy for Black men and women; services for children and teens

Marissa Johnson, LLMSW | Detroit

Specializes in: Clinical Social Worker/Therapist

Metta & Moxie | Pleasant Ridge

Specializes in: therapy for individual, groups, and couples; yoga classes and retreats

Michigan Medicine | Ann Arbor

Division of Gastroenterology & Hepatology, Department of Internal Medicine

Recommended provider: Christina Jagielski, Ph.D., M.P.H.

Our DM reader likes that this provider was able to get to the root of the digestive issues she was having, and also taught her how to manage her anxiety so that the digestive issues would no longer be a problem.

Mom Power

Specializes in: helps teach how to learn what your child/baby needs in the moments of specific behaviors

Perinatal Adjustment

Specializes in: for women experiencing milder symptoms but still needing support going through the transitions into motherhood

Recommended provider: Natalie Burns

Perinatal Clinic

Recommended provider: Dr. Maria Muzik

Our DM reader likes that she is highly knowledgeable about pregnancy and which medications are okay, and which should be avoided.

Perinatal Dialectical Behavior Therapy Group

Specializes in: for pregnant/new moms struggling with PPD/PPA
Recommended provider: Katie Bresky

Rachel Upjohn Building

Specializes in: weekly group therapy session for mothers who have experienced trauma. Women are screened immediately at first call (takes 15 minutes or so, so plan accordingly when you call the first time) to see what services they can offer.

Mikki Gardner | Birmingham + Online

Specializes in: all things co-parenting including individual parent coaching and coaching for co-parenting parents; focussed on effective communication, conflict resolution, differing parenting styles, and healing post-separation/divorce.

My Time to Heal Counseling | Online

Specializes in: maternal mental health and grief counseling
Recommended provider: Dr. Nikki Scott

Nature’s Playhouse | Ferndale + Online

Specializes in: maternal mental health; babies-in-arms welcome

Niyama Center | Southfield + Online

Specializes in: anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, and more

Peace of Mind Therapy | Berkley + Online

Specializes in: anxiety and depression in adults using a strengths-based, client-focused approach
Recommended provider: Ronit Szczotka

Perspectives Counseling | Clarkston, Novi, Plymouth, Sterling Heights, Troy, and Rochester

Specializes in: anger management, bipolar treatment, anxiety treatment, couples counseling, depression treatment, group treatment, and more
Recommended provider: Dr. Thompson (Troy location)

Our DM reader likes that Dr. Thompson is an amazing listener, is unbiased, and was able to respectfully challenge our perspectives (when attending for marriage counseling). She also shared that Dr. Thompson gave us insightful homework and problem solving formulas that we now use everyday. Our DM reader also shared that Dr. Thompson is Black, saying, “That may not matter to most but it was a gift for me.”

Reset Brain and Body | Ann Arbor, Northville, Plymouth, + Online

Specializes in: trauma-informed, mindfulness-based somatic interventions
Recommended providers: Lisa Mcintyre (Northville), Kerry Biskelonis (Ann Arbor + Plymouth), and the team working with parenting or perinatal and postpartum

Our DM reader likes that Lisa is a mom, local to metro Detroit, who has really helped her through some of the darkest moments of her life. She also shares that she likes that Lisa can relate to the struggles of being a working mother.

Rise Psychiatric Services | Online

Specializes in: depression, anxiety, PTSD, grief, post partum depression, parenting struggles, and more

Samantha Gumul, LMSW-C | Bingham Farms + Online

Specializes in: perinatal mental health with Healing Home Counseling Group

Sarah Watson, LPC | Online

Specializes in: licensed professional counseler and certified sex therapist

Start My Wellness | Ferndale

Specializes in: anxiety, depression, Autism, ADHD, grief, trauma, and everything in between.

They are able to see patients within a couple days of contacting their office, and they’re always accepting new patients.

Therapyology | West Bloomfield + Online

Specializes in: children and teen therapy, family sessions, grief and loss

Theresa M. Bateman, LMSW | Troy + Online

Specializes in: Clinical Social Work

It is our hope that this guide to Metro Detroit therapists will be helpful to you or someone you know. Please remember that if you are struggling with your mental health, we are here for you, and you are not alone.

If you’re looking for a guide to Metro Detroit therapists for your child, check out our list of therapists here.

Detroit Mom’s Travel Series: Alpena

Megan Moore

May 12, 2024

Alpena is a Michigan city most people have heard of, but few have spent any real time there. Typically a drive-through city for those traveling up the eastern coast to Mackinaw City, it’s a prominent spot on the map but not usually a must-go travel destination. That is, until you realize this historic town of traditional-meets-trendy is truly a hidden gem!

Spending summers just an hour south of Alpena, at my grandfather’s house in Greenbush, my family often made trips northward to take advantage of all this little/big town had to offer. As an adult, my girlfriends and I have day-tripped here to enjoy the natural landscape, food, and art scene (yes, you read that right!). Whether you’re looking for a family day at the beach, a historic sightseeing tour, untouched nature trails, or eclectic food paired with an authentic Michigan brew, Alpena, “Sanctuary of the Great Lakes,” has something in store for you.

The author walks with her children into Island Park — Walking into Island Park!

Sample Itinerary for Alpena

9:00-9:30 a.m. | Cabin Creek Coffee
201 N 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-5613
For coffee and tea lovers, this cozy coffee shop has every type of beverage, pastry, and treat you could ever want.

9:30-10:30 a.m. | Island Park
River St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 354-1700
Take the covered wood bridge to Alpena’s nature sanctuary, offering beautiful views of the river, easy walking trails, and a glimpse of the city’s Youth Sailing Club practicing with their boats if you’re lucky!

10:30-11:30 a.m. | Besser Museum for Northeast Michigan
491 Johnson St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-2202
With rotating exhibits about art, history, and science (all Michigan-themed, of course!), there’s always something to do at the Besser Museum.

11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
Stop for lunch at a restaurant of your choice, found under the “Restaurants You’ll Love” section below!

12:30-1:00 p.m. | Art in the Loft
109 N 2nd Ave Suite 300, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-4877
Downtown, you’ll find Art in the Loft, Alpena’s own upscale (but still child-friendly) art gallery. Browse a rotating collection of works from artists and maybe even take one home! On some occasions, they also offer drop-in classes.

1:00-2:00 p.m. | Great Lakes Maritime Heritage Center
500 W Fletcher St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 884-6200
There are so many cool historical artifacts and so much interesting history packed into the place, but the best part has to be the walk-through interactive ship that allows you to experience a storm at sea and, for little ones, crawl through a neat play structure.

2:00-4:30 p.m. | Alpena Shipwreck Tours
500 W Fletcher St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (888) 469-4696
Now that you’ve learned the history behind Shipwreck Alley, it’s time to venture into the Thunder Bay Marine Sanctuary on a glass-bottom boat tour to view the shipwrecks in person!

4:30-6:00 p.m.
Grab dinner at a restaurant of your choice, found under the “Restaurants You’ll Love” section below!

6:00-7:30 p.m. | Bay View Park
208 N 1st Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 354-1780
After dinner, it’s time for some more time outdoors. Bay View Park has a playground, a beautiful boardwalk, a path to the nearby harbor, and amazing views of some of the city’s most gorgeous historic homes. During the summer, you might even be fortunate enough to witness a performance in the bandshell.

Restaurants You’ll Love

Austin Brothers Beer Co. | 821 W Miller St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 340-2300
You’ve probably seen their handcrafted Michigan beer in supermarkets, but when in Alpena, you can visit the actual brewery. The menu rotates often and can be limited, but if you’re looking for craft brews, a bite to eat, and Austin Brothers merchandise, this is the place.

Court Yard Restaurant | S2024 US-23, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-9511
Relaxed but a bit more upscale, this restaurant offers classics like Prime Rib, steak, and seafood. There is also a lounge that frequently has live music.

John Boy’s Restaurant | 817 W Chisholm St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-0481
Don’t be dissuaded by the exterior; this traditional diner specializes in the fare we’ve all come to know and love, like biscuits and gravy or a mushroom swiss burger. It can be tricky to find a seat, but it’s perfect for families with little ones who just want something “normal.”

Red Brick Tap and Barrel | 109 River St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 340-2175
With beers, cocktails, and hearty meals sure to please every palate, this restaurant is a pretty safe bet if you’re looking for a great lunch or dinner.

Thunder Bay Winery | 109 N 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 358-9463
A lovely tasting room that offers a relaxed experience tasting wines and brews from a local, family-owned winery.

Attractions You Must Visit

Mich-e-ke-wis Park/Starlite Beach | S State Ave, Alpena, MI 49707
A sandy Lake Huron beach plus a splash pad and picnic facilities, what more could a summer destination need?

Rockport Recreation Area | Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 734-2543
You know those awesome Lake Huron fossils you’ve seen in shops? This is where many originate from. It’s an old gravel quarry rich with cool rocks and fossils that you can take home!

Favorite Coffee Shop

Cabin Creek Coffee | 201 N 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-5613
With a little something for everyone, this coffee shop caters to all ages and palates. The only concern I’ve heard is that the latte is a bit too sweet (is that even possible?).

Favorite Place for Sweet Treats

North Country Candy & Gifts | 1045 N Bagley St, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 354-8231
You know those iconic sweet shops that live in your summer vacation memories? This is one of those! Traditional chocolates, caramel corn, coffee, ice cream, and more await.

Favorite Kid-Friendly Spot

Bay View Park | 208 N 1st Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 354-1780
The hub of lakefront Alpena has a playground, boardwalk, harbor, bandshell, and plenty of trails connecting to the Alpena Bi-Path, the perfect place to enjoy the outdoors and expend energy.

Favorite Date Night Spot

The Center Building | 109 N 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 | (989) 356-4577
The Center Building houses many great attractions, from Art in the Loft to restaurants like The Fresh Palate and Nucleus Lounge, and even a spot for adult drinks in Thunder Bay Winery.

Bonus Tips to Alpena

Alpena can easily occupy you for a few days, especially if you plan to take full advantage of the parks and outdoor recreation areas. However, it’s best suited for a long weekend rather than a week-long trip.
The glass bottom boat tour is recommended for children eight and up as it is 2½ hours long and covers the area’s rich maritime history while reviewing some of its most famous shipwrecks.
If the conditions are right, you can view some of the more shallow shipwrecks by paddleboard or kayak. There are also plenty of meandering rivers for you to cruise down if you want to put in a canoe or kayak!
Rockport State Park Recreation Area is also a fantastic dark sky park if you’re looking for a nighttime adventure.

What’s your favorite vacation spot? Check out our previous Travel Series location–Yosemite National Park!

Skin Cancer Awareness Month | My Weird Freckle Was Melanoma

lauriegolden

May 11, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal journey with melanoma. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your health.

“Can you take a look at this weird freckle?” I asked my doctor during my yearly physical.
“I don’t do moles,” he said. “I’ll refer you to a dermatologist.” That could have been the end of it. And the end of me.

As a working mom of three busy kids, it was difficult to make time for my physical, let alone remembering to call yet another doctor and take off work for yet another appointment. But for some reason, I felt like this was important.

A few weeks later, I found myself wrapped in a gown, seated on crinkly hygiene paper on an exam table while the dermatologist peered into his dermoscope, focused on my weird freckle.

I was 42 years old. Skin cancer is for old people, I thought. There’s nothing to be concerned about. But my doctor thought differently. “I don’t want to scare you,” he said. “But that’s got to come off.” My weird freckle was melanoma.

Freak Out

It took about two minutes and one Google search to send me into panic. Melanoma is some serious shit. My head filled with thoughts of my motherless children and grief-stricken husband navigating life without me. I couldn’t get this weird freckle off my body fast enough and the wait for my upcoming appointment was excruciating. I wanted to take a knife and cut if off myself, just to get this poison off me.

One of the Lucky Ones

It took two procedures to get a clear margin but I was lucky. My melanoma was caught early, before it had a chance to get into my lymph nodes and spread through my system. I had a friend who wasn’t so lucky, and, as about 7,990 people each year do according to cancer.net, he died from his weird freckle.

Skin Cancer Awareness Month

I’m sharing my experience because May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month and it’s a good time to remind people–even young people–to make an appointment for a screening and learn how to prevent this most common type of cancer in America.

According to the American Academy of Dermatology Association, each day in the U.S., 9,500 people are diagnosed with skin cancer. That includes basal cell, squamous cell, deadly melanoma, and Merkel cell carcinoma. Each of these cancers presents differently and have different treatments but they are all caused by the same thing: exposure to UV rays. Exposure can come directly from time outdoors, or from sun coming through a vehicle window or a sunny spot in your home. Tanning beds have a high UV exposure, and all UV rays can contribute to cancer.

Steps to Prevent Skin Cancer

You can still enjoy time outdoors while protecting yourself from harmful UV rays. Here are some actions to take.

Take preventative actions.

Always wear sunblock, even during the winter.
Reapply sunblock every few hours, or if you’ve been swimming or sweating.
Limit exposure to the sun during the most intense hours of the day, between 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m., even if you are wearing sunblock.
Don’t use tanning beds. If you want some color, try a spray tan or self-tanner instead.
Invest in some sun-blocking clothing. Despite the long sleeves, it actually helps keep you cool. I like Coolibar, or REI’s selection.
Wear a wide brimmed hat.
Check out the ratings of your sunblock.
Consider a BB or CC cream with SPF for daily use.

Screen yourself regularly.

Skin Cancer Awareness Month is a good time to screen yourself and family members. The American Academy of Dermatologists has an easy-to-follow guide for checking yourself. Taking an inventory of your freckles and moles will help you spot new ones and be aware of changes.

For more on prevention, this resource from the American Academy of Dermatologists is super helpful.

As for me, I have had multiple suspicious moles cut away from my body over the years but my melanoma is officially in remission. I credit my doctor with saving my life and follow up with him annually for a skin check. Every day I admire my beautiful scars. I don’t mind them at all.

Moms take great care of their kids and partners but aren’t always so good at taking care of themselves. Read about Kristy’s experience with heart disease and why it’s so important to pay attention to your body.

Detroit Mom’s Local Love Spotlight: TRV|FIT Berkley

Whitney Cornelli

May 8, 2024

Detroit Mom’s Local Love series highlights local women and the businesses they have built. We love supporting small business! Today’s Local Love Spotlight belongs to Rachel Gomillion, owner of TRV|FIT Berkley.

To start, we asked Rachel to share a few fun facts about herself with us!

She sees the good in people.
She leads with kindness, and loves adventures.
She is also known to be silly!

We asked Rachel to share a bit about her business with us, too. Get to know Rachel and her business, TRV|FIT Berkley, below!

How did you come up with the idea of your business, and how did you start?

“The idea for my business came from a deep-rooted passion for fitness and wellness combined with years of experience in the business world. Since childhood, I’ve always dreamed of owning my own fitness and/or wellness studio. However, life took me on a different path. I spent the first 23 years of my career immersed in learning about business operations and management.

“After closing a previous venture, I realized it was time to return to my true passion: the health and fitness industry. Reflecting on my journey, I saw an opportunity to merge my business expertise with my love for fitness and wellness. This realization sparked the idea of buying into an existing fitness or wellness studio that already had a strong foundation and reputation in the community.

“Recognizing the potential of the existing business, I decided to invest in it and take it to new heights. By leveraging my entrepreneurial skills and passion for fitness and wellness, I aimed to enhance the studio’s offerings, streamline operations, and expand its reach. This decision allowed me to pursue my lifelong dream while also building upon the successes of an established business.

“By combining my vision with the existing framework of the studio, I created a business model that not only fulfilled my personal aspirations but also catered to the evolving needs of our clientele. My journey taught me that sometimes the best opportunities come from aligning our passions with existing platforms, allowing us to make a meaningful impact while achieving our entrepreneurial goals.

“I did not start my business, [but rather] I bought into it in September 2021.”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

“Embrace uncertainty: Stay adaptable in the face of changing fitness trends and market conditions. See uncertainty as an opportunity for growth and innovation. Prepare for unforeseen challenges by establishing contingency plans.

“Practice gratitude: Show appreciation for your staff’s hard work and dedication. Cultivate a positive atmosphere by expressing gratitude to both staff and members. Recognize the importance of gratitude in building customer loyalty.

“Seek feedback: Regularly gather feedback from staff and members to improve gym experiences. Use feedback to identify areas for enhancement and celebrate successful practices. Foster open communication and empower employees to share their ideas.

“Lean on others: Remember that you’re not alone in the business world. Don’t hesitate to lean on mentors, industry peers, or business networks for support and advice. Collaboration and seeking guidance from others can help navigate challenges and drive success in gym ownership.”

What is the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

“If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got.”

Have you faced adversity in business due to being a woman? How did you navigate that?

“Navigating body image pressures in the fitness industry as a bigger-bodied woman can present unique challenges due to societal norms that often prioritize a narrow definition of beauty. Here are some additional strategies tailored to address these challenges:

“Celebrate your body: Embrace and celebrate your full-bodied shape. Recognize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and your curves are a beautiful expression of your unique identity.

“Find representation: Seek out representation of diverse body types in the fitness industry. Follow body-positive influencers, athletes, and fitness professionals who celebrate and advocate for body diversity. Seeing people who look like you thriving in fitness can be empowering and validating.

“Focus on strength and functionality: Shift your focus from achieving a certain body size or shape to building strength, endurance, and overall health. Appreciate your body for its capabilities and all the amazing things it can do, rather than its appearance alone.

“Choose supportive environments: Surround yourself with supportive communities and environments that celebrate diversity and inclusivity. Look for gyms, fitness classes, or online communities that prioritize body positivity and create a welcoming space for individuals of all sizes.

“Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations and messages of self-love. Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect that you would offer to a friend.

“Dress for comfort and confidence: Wear workout attire that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and empowered. Choose clothing that allows you to move freely and comfortably during exercise, without worrying about how your body looks to others.

“Set boundaries: Set boundaries with individuals or environments that perpetuate negative body image beliefs or fatphobia. Surround yourself with people who respect and celebrate your body just as it is, and don’t hesitate to distance yourself from those who don’t.

“Educate yourself and others: Take the opportunity to educate yourself and others about body diversity, fat acceptance, and the harmful effects of weight stigma. Challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about full-bodied individuals in the fitness industry, and advocate for greater inclusivity and representation.”

How do you persevere in challenging times?

“Believing in the best yet to come and having faith in the universe can provide a sense of hope and resilience. Separating yourself from the immediate issues to gain perspective is also a wise approach, allowing you to see challenges as temporary and part of a broader journey. This combination of faith, optimism, and perspective can be powerful tools for facing adversity and finding strength within yourself.”

What impact do you want your business to have?

“Our business aims to have a transformative impact by providing a safe and enjoyable space for people to embrace movement, improve their health, and enhance their overall quality of life. Through education, community-building, and empowerment, we aspire to be more than just a gym or studio–we aim to be a catalyst for positive change in the lives of our members and the broader community.”

Photo by Stephanie Walker/@camaratacreativephotography

What are the pros and cons of being a woman business owner in 2024?

“In 2024, there’s unprecedented opportunity for women to connect and control their creativity through various platforms and communities, fostering empowerment and innovation. However, achieving work-life balance remains a challenge, as the expanding opportunities may demand more time and dedication, potentially impacting personal pursuits and family obligations.”

What knowledge would you share with someone who wants to become an entrepreneur?

“Remember that entrepreneurship is a journey filled with uncertainties, but with careful planning, strategic execution, and perseverance, you can increase your chances of building a successful and sustainable business.”

What do you do for personal and professional development?

“Goldman’s Sac 10000 Small Business Program [and] lots of personal development: Retreat to Reclaim, Sunshine Retreat, Barefoot and Free, Coteriedetroit, Wellness Warriors, Moms In Business. [And] podcast[s]: Mel Robbins, Emily Fletcher, Christine Cain, Joel Osteen, The Spiritual Hustler (Jessica Zweig), The Wonder Women, and many more.”

What mantra or quote do you live by?

“Be yourself: everybody else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

“For our own success to be real it must contribute to the success of others.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

What’s your favorite place in Detroit or Michigan?

“Pictured Rocks [for] Michigan. Dequindre Cut for Detroit.”

Where can our readers find you on social media?

You can follow TRV|FIT Berkley on Facebook, Instagram, and on their website!

We hope you loved getting to know more about Rachel + TRV|FIT Berkley. Be sure to check out our previous Local Love Spotlight featuring Dipali + Neehee’s!

Ovarian Cancer at 28 | Melissa’s Story

Guest Blogger

May 7, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal journey with ovarian cancer. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your health.

Ovarian cancer at 28 has been a wild ride to say the least. My life was so very different five years ago. I was married and trying to start a family with my husband while in my fifth year of teaching in Detroit. We lived in the city and had so much in our life to be thankful for. It all felt so easy.

Around Christmas of 2018, I stopped birth control in hopes of getting pregnant. Within a couple months I started experiencing odd symptoms that I hoped I could blame on a tiny baby starting to grow inside me. Something was growing–but there were no positive pregnancy tests.

In the first months of 2019 I felt bloated, experienced irregularly long periods, couldn’t eat as much as usual because I felt too full, had pain with sex, and was experiencing urgency and frequency with urination. The desire to be a mom led me to my OB’s office that spring to make sure all was well and that I was healthy for pregnancy.

The abnormal periods and pain with sex were attributed to the hormonal changes of ending birth control.

But, I was given a transvaginal ultrasound just to check things out, and a cyst was found on my right ovary. A month or so passed and these weird symptoms persisted without any signs of pregnancy. So, a follow-up ultrasound was scheduled–and my cyst had grown.

A CA125 blood draw was done to give an idea of if we were looking at ovarian cancer. However, mine was within the normal range, and my doctors were 95% sure I didn’t have cancer. Fast forward to two days later and I woke up in the middle of the night with excruciating pelvic pain. I woke up my husband and went to the ER because we were concerned about ovarian torsion (where the ovary spins on the Fallopian tube due to the weight of something on it).

By May of 2019, I was referred to a gynecological oncologist just in case removal of the cyst was anything more concerning.

I woke up in recovery alone, in extreme pain, and wondering how long I had been under. My surgery should have been an hour or two. But when the nurse told me it was 1:00 in the afternoon I realized I had been under for more than four hours. “I have cancer, don’t I?” I asked the nurse.

Of course she couldn’t confirm anything, but I knew. My oncologist confirmed that afternoon on May 31, 2019 that I had stage 2B granulosa cell carcinoma. It is a very rare form of ovarian cancer. I was 28 years old. The average age of a diagnosis for ovarian cancer is in your mid 60s.

The realization that I did not yet have children and had already lost half of my reproductive organs to cancer was heartbreaking.

I worried that I would never be able to have children and that cancer would dictate my future. I’m sure you’re wondering how it could have taken so many months to diagnose me with cancer after all of these symptoms. It’s an important question that I now work really hard to answer for many people.

Prior to reading this post, were you aware of the signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer? It’s not very common knowledge and gets a lot less media attention than, say, breast cancer. I’ve known how to do a breast self-exam for decades. However, I didn’t know the signs of ovarian cancer until 2019. The other troubling fact is that there is no definitive test for ovarian cancer. The only way to know is a biopsy requiring surgery.

So what can you do if you have concerns?

If you are experiencing signs of ovarian cancer for two weeks or more you can advocate for a CA125 blood test, a transvaginal ultrasound, and a pelvic exam from your OB. You might be thinking that you are covered because you get your pap smear. But, that only tests for cervical cancer and gives no indication for ovarian cancer. According to the CDC, symptoms you can look for are pelvic or abdominal pain, feeling full quickly, changes in bowels, frequency or urgency of urination, or bloating. While these might not seem obvious, it’s important to listen to your body because you know it best.

Today is World Ovarian Cancer Day and throughout my journey I have found that spreading awareness and empowering women to advocate for their bodies is one of the best steps forward that I can do right now. You know your body better than anyone. If you have a concern, there is no shame in reaching out to your doctor even though reproductive organs and intimacy can feel taboo to discuss.

According to the World Ovarian Cancer Coalition, if nothing changes there will be 8 million women who die from ovarian cancer by 2050.

The lack of knowledge and absence of a definitive test mean that ovarian cancer is diagnosed in the late stages. These are more difficult to treat and usually result in infertility for those of childbearing age. Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance stated that not only is ovarian cancer the most deadly gynecological cancer, but the five-year survival rate is only about 50%. I cannot wrap my mind around that last statistic. So much more needs to be done in the research world in order to save lives.

In just 23 days, I will hit my five year cancerversary and beat that statistic. My life expectancy will see a sharp increase and I will have a lower risk of recurrence. Not only am I so very thankful to be alive and healthy, but I have three incredible babies. My twin boys are the first and second babies born via in vitro fertilization to anyone with my subset of cancer, according to medical journals my reproductive endocrinologist found. My daughter is the third.

I don’t want to think this was all just luck on my part.

I was empowered to advocate for my concerns. And, I was privileged to have doctors who took my concerns and pain seriously. This is not the case for all people. Access to high quality medical care is a concern that I hold as a budding social worker currently in grad school. I left my career in teaching to become a social worker and provide therapy for others who are experiencing infertility. Another part of the wild ride since my diagnosis.

My future is never going to be certain. My risk of recurrence will always be in the back of my mind. In the meantime, I will continue advocating for more research surrounding ovarian cancer. I will continue spreading awareness so others know what to look out for.

And, I’ll continue wearing a lot of teal. My kids walk every Mother’s Day morning with my husband and I in Ann Arbor with Michigan Ovarian Cancer Alliance (MIOCA) to spread awareness. It’s one of the traditions that I’m sure we will do for all the years to come.

Resources for Support

As a former teacher and future social worker, I would not be comfortable ending this post without providing resources for those who are previvors, survivors, loved ones of those with ovarian cancer, or people who want to get involved. Below are several resources–both locally and nationally–that can support you or your loved ones.

Gilda’s Club: Provides free support groups, bereavement supports, and social activities for those experiencing a cancer diagnosis.
Imerman Angels: Provides a free mentor angel that you are paired up with as a peer support. They can be requested to have the same diagnosis, age, etc.
Michigan Ovarian Cancer Alliance: Provides free support groups for survivors and caregivers. They also host awareness events and raise funds for research and survivor support.
Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance: Provides resources for cancer patients including insurance, work, LGBTQIA+, young adults, work-related, and emotional support. They also do a lot of fundraising for research.
Stupid Cancer: Provides resources for adolescent young adult (AYA) survivors to help with the unique experience of having cancer between the ages of 15-39.

–Guest post submitted by Melissa Bradley

The Pursuit of Motherhood + Business Ownership

AshleyOshinsky

May 7, 2024

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people at Higher Living Real Estate to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

Motherhood and business ownership are hard work, but also super rewarding. There’s no one to tell you what to do and often times, you feel like you’re not measuring up. We often feel alone in the pursuit of motherhood and business ownership.

Since integrating myself within the Detroit Mom community, I’ve learned that a lot of us are business owners and we feel like we just aren’t measuring up.

It got me thinking about how the path to success isn’t linear–it’s more about celebrating the little wins along the way. This mindset shift has gotten me through some tough times of self doubt and comparing. I remember how far I’ve come, even if it’s not exactly where I want to be.

Another mindset shift that has helped me immensely is to remember that mothers who are also business owners are a different breed.

We face a different set of challenges from our partners, and even from the generations of our mothers or our grandmothers. We want to be there for all the little and big moments for our kids, but we also want to be the best we can in our profession. There’s a lot on our shoulders. Not everyone understands the burden and stress we carry.

But I do. I understand it all. That’s why I wanted to talk about entrepreneurship and motherhood. I want you to know that you’re not alone in your challenges and triumphs.

We all have a place to start and a place we want to go.

For me, I started 13 years ago as a part time office manager for a real estate brokerage while I was in college. I fell in love with real estate and started learning all I could about the industry. I spent many years learning residential sales, property development, and investment management. A little over five years ago, I finally got the courage to quit the safety of my office job for an investor and go all in on real estate.

Two years ago, I got my real estate brokers license (in the state of Michigan, this allows you to operate independently) while I was seven months pregnant with baby #2. I could have given up or put my dreams on the back burner for a “better time” but instead, I kept my focus on my vision: to be a leader for my family and children, showing them that they can be whatever they want to be, no matter how hard it might be to get there.

Now, as I settle into my second year of business as the broker owner of my own company, I’ve come a long way. Am I where I want to be exactly? No. But I know that keeping my focus on why I did this in the first place will allow me to keep taking one step forward every day.

So, this is my reminder to you, a business owner mom, that you can do it. This is hard work. But it’s so beyond worth it. Don’t give up!!!

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